week 41 Year 1
I Woke up feeling that I finally had some really good sleep! And you slept like a log all night long, you had fallen asleep around 18:40 and woke up just before 6:00 I think. You were so happy to see daddy still in bed with us and the two of you had the sweetest morning cuddles. Before making our way downstairs you decided to go through all of your books and open them to your favourite pages which was just really sweet to watch.
We went downstairs and had some breakfast and then we had a nice relaxing morning at home. Daddy had a few things he needed to do in the office and you sat next to him serenading him with your planet song. You are just too cute, and no matter how many times you have sung it, each time you finish it you are so amazed at how good you know the words.
Once he was finished we all made some wooden spoon puppets together and it was so much fun! This was daddy's idea and he had been excited about doing it since last weekend when we went to hobbycraft to stock up on some art supplies. It ended up being a bit more time consuming than we had anticipated but it was worth it because you were absolutely loving the whole process, you were especially interested in the sewing bit and wanted to know all about how to do it. When it came time to make the faces you took the job very seriously and even though I did the hair for you you were very adamant that it needed to be yellow with a bit of blue in it. When we had finished putting the hair on you had the absolute best reaction! You became like a little bubble of pure joy that was bursting in every direction, it was the best.
Theres been one big change that's happened in my life these past couple days and that was me finding out on Tues evening that I had tested positive for gestational diabetes. Immediately when I found out I felt heartbroken, and pretty shocked, I didn't want to be labelled as high risk again and became so sad that my dreams of a home birth were taken away again. You see, I had been labelled with it when I was pregnant with you too, just as my mom had it when she was pregnant with me. Although it didn't affect us in any way, I still went two weeks over with you when usually if you have been labelled they don't allow you to go over even a day but I was lucky and was able to control it with diet which hopefully will be the same this time. I was convinced I wasn't going to have it this time, because when they tested me for it earlier in this pregnancy it came back negative. But I guess my hormones have other plans and now I'm back to having to do a bloodtest by pricking my finger 6 times a day (before and after every meal). You are not a fan of this new thing I need to do and even though you've watched me do it and can see it doesn't hurt me you hate it and run and hide or try to get me not to do it.
But as upset as I was a few days ago I no longer am. I had a big cry at the time and got it all out and now I'm just excited about meeting your little brother wherever it is meant to happen. At my Dr's appointment on Thur I had the most wonderful midwife who was so positive and made sure that I didn't put any blame on myself because it's just something that runs in my family, and that it's one of those things in life where it just isn't fair. She made sure I knew that whatever I am told they are just suggestions and that at the end of the day I can make my own decisions and if I still felt positive about having a homebirth after knowing the risks that I could still make that decision, that no-one can make me do anything. I was just so impressed by that! Last time with you it was a much different experience with the midwives, they were a bit more inclined to try their hardest to install fear and try to make you believe you didn't have a choice!
So after we had lunch and waiting an hour so I could do my test we headed out for a little seaside walk. Just as we arrived their was a windsurfer getting ready to head out into the water and you were completely drawn to him and could not keep away, you were so curious and interested in what he was doing asking him so many questions. You were convinced you were going to go on it with him and we tried explaining why this wasn't going to happen but you would hear none of it and ended up becoming so incredibly upset crying your little heart out when he made it out I to the water without you. Eventually it passed through you and we could continue on our walk.
It was such a beautiful day out, the sea air felt especially good to breathe in. We stopped when you spotted a heart someone had drew in the sand and then we proceeded with doing so many more. Eventually we made it to a little bridge where you are convinced there lives a troll but that he had gone to the shop and that was why we couldn't currently see him. We spent ages playing around here jumping on the stones and finding treasures and even finding trees play in.
All week you had been wanting to do messy paint with me but I told you we had to wait until the weekend when daddy was home because now that I'm 29.5 weeks pregnant it's kind of a two person job to help get you upstairs (without getting paint everywhere) afterwards to get us cleaned. So we went home to fulfil this wish of yours. And I must say I absolutely love getting all covered in paint with you!! It was one of our funnest sessions to date, you were so happy and were loving every second of it, and having daddy help cover us in paint made it a lot easier. You especially loved painting my face which if I'm honest was not my favourite bit but hey it was worth it to her your giddy excitement and endless squeals of laughter. We even all made it upstairs without making a mess! Even washing the paint off of us was such a sweet experience, you and I sat in the tub taking turns to use the shower head to help each other rinse the paint off. We ended up having a really cosy and relaxing bath together, it was bliss.
By the time we finished cleaning up the sun had already gone to sleep and it was so dark out. You helped daddy make Ratatouille for dinner and were convinced that you could eat raw aubergine which you actually pretended to enjoy just so you weren't proven wrong but then ended up spitting it out. you and i ended up watching an episode of masterchef jr. and you kept running into the kitchen and back to me giving me pieces of raw courgette to eat. it's one of your favourite things, I was a little concerned there wouldnt be enough for the dinner daddy was making!
After dinner we all went upstairs and got you ready for bed. Daddy took over reading stories and getting you to sleep so once you and I kissed each other goodnight I left the two of you and went downstairs where I was able to have a bit of time for myself and had a wonderful meditation.
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