What a night.  I'm happy I managed to go to bed early last night because Forrest you just wanted to be attached to me all night long,  I think you must be going through a growth spurt. By the time 6am rolled by I was wide awake and got up leaving all three of you in bed. Nixie you came into our bed at some point during the night and gave me the biggest snuggles.  

Not too long after I made myself comfy on our sofa, all of you came down too. Nixie you asked to have a little boob which you did for about 30 seconds. Forrest you have an ouchie on the palm of your hand,  not sure what it is,  looks like a blister or a sliver. Nixie put some salve on you, she loves putting salve on you (There's been many times where I've walked in on you guys and she's putting salve on a scratch or a bruise for you and you absolutely love it too)!  Daddy out of the blue felt nauseous and needed to lay down but luckily it passed quickly. It was another morning of yoghurt and cereal and Forrest you have mastered eating with a spoon and at the table,  I no longer need to sit next to you!  You're growing up so quickly,  it's always the little things that make me so aware of the passing of time. When Nixie was finished and left the table,  you did the sweetest thing and grabbed her bowl and went and put it into the sink. 

Today Nixie you're going to Forrest school and I have my fingers and toes crossed that it will be a better day for you than last week.   You really struggled last week but you are adamant that you wanted to go back. You were chatting with Forrest about how when he's 5 he can come with you and how amazing it will be. I love that you want him to come with you. After breakfast and after I got your lunch and your things packed for forest school I rushed to get ready and to respond to some emails before it was time to go. 

I was happy it was a sunny day for you,  up until now you've really only experienced forest school when it's been cold and wet. As I dropped you off at forest school and walked away my heart was in my throat, I felt so much anxiety and worry that you wouldn't have a good day.  But you were so excited to be there and we didn't even properly say goodbye which made me feel slightly weird.  I'm not used to doing the drop offs usually dad does them. He's been home weeks now but just a couple of weeks ago we found out he was being made redundant. So the energies around here haven't been the best. Me and daddy have been feeling a lot of uncertainty.  But the good news is that he's found another job and one closer to home. But he starts Sept which makes me feel sad because our time together as a family is coming to an end. 

Afterwards you (Forrest), me and daddy went on a little walk in burley amongst the beautiful heathland. Such a beautiful morning, the Heather is starting to become more and more in bloom. I think this was the first walk where it's been just the three of us. It made me remember how it was when Nixie was your age. You were having so much fun playing with my shadow,  running in and out of it,  chasing it and giggling the whole time. You are just so sweet with the way you love to run ahead of us and collect stones and then immediately rushing back to us just so you can put them in daddy's pockets (something you learned from Nixie).  You also have this little obsession where you just need to jump in all the horse poo piles and you get so excited when we see horses. You never get bored of them,  it doesn't matter that you see them almost everyday, each time is like the first time and you don't get any less excited. Even when were in  the car you squeal with excitement each time we pass one and everytime it fills my heart with the sweetest of feelings.  I am always so impressed with how far you're able to walk or run and that you are able to do so happily in the same direction as us!  It feels like such a novelty, it was quite the different experience with your sister.  

You fell asleep in the car and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to transfer you to bed but you were in such a deep sleep and didn't even stir.  I never know what to do with myself when Nixie isn't here and you're asleep. I decided to get some errands out of the way while you slept but just as I was about to leave the house to go to the post office I heard you cry so I rushed up to you and gave you some boob and ended up having a really nice snuggle,  I felt so relaxed and could have easily fallen asleep. Eventually I did make it out of the house while daddy was busy baking banana bread. 

When you woke up we went out into the garden and you picked some cherry tomatoes,  you actually know how to only pick the red ones!  Sometimes I feel surprised by all that you understand and I think its because you're nowhere near talking so I forget how much you are actually taking in and understanding. When we made it back inside it was just in time to taste daddy's delicious banana bread.  He went upstairs for his video call and you and I listened to music and danced together,  it was so sweet,  you just wanted to be in my arms and I'd twirl us around and then dip you and your face was like a sunflower so happy and then you'd just place your cheek against mine and would even kind of hum to our song that's been our song since I was still pregnant with you,  dead can dance invocation.  It's not often we get these moments,  Nixie is obsessed with veruca salt and I don't ever get a chance really to listen to what I want to listen to. Afterwards you wanted boob. But you had found some banana bread that you were chewing so I told you you couldn't have any until you finished eating what was in your mouth so instead of swallowing it you decided to spit it out so you could have boob,  it made me laugh. Just before 15:00 we got ready to leave to go pick up your sister.  Me and daddy were both feeling anxious to find out how it went for your her. 

Amazingly she had the most wonderful day,  words can't describe how happy that made me,  I almost cried tears of joy! You were so happy to see me and we gave each other the biggest hug and I carried you all the way back to the car.  We had to stop by a stream on the way home to free the frogs so we ended up going to rhinefield drive.  For some reason when you got out of the car,  you seemed so much more grown up! Before heading back you and Forrest had the best time playing in the stream both getting absolutely soaked,  especially you. You were absolutely relishing in the fact you were having what you called a bath in your clothes.  Forrest, you, just watched Nixie in awe, not ready to  be quite as brave as her just yet. On the way back home you were pointing out all the horses with a spot on their foreheads and declaring,  "unicorn!"  I love that this fact has stuck for you since I mentioned that my friends daughter believed that. 

When we got home we started getting dinner ready and Forrest you wanted boob. Nixie you ran upstairs to play in your room, the last couple of days, you've been making these race courses with lots of challenges spread out for your spirit figures and they're really cool,  you've put a lot of thought into it. Then the two of you had your usual dance party to veruca salt.  After dinner you both had a bath and afterwards the two of you were being so sweet sitting in your bed together while you read your bug book to him. You kept making him belly laugh, it was the sweetest thing. 

Forrest you were obviously getting tired so I decided to try to put you to bed and you fell asleep around 19:30. You actually hummed your way to sleep.  When I went into your (Nixie) room, you and daddy were doing your world map puzzle and before you'd brush your teeth you had to finish it.  Once your teeth were brushed you really wanted to try to take some photos with my camera,  it is soo heavy for you so after a few attempts we put it on your Lego box so you could easier control it and you took some really amazing photos of me and daddy.  You were so proud of them. You really seem to be getting ready for your own camera.  You loved the idea of having photo sessions together.  

Eventually you said goodnight to daddy and you and I read our book "Ronja the Robbers Daughter",  but it wasn't long until you just wanted to chat about your day. We had the best chat ever,  I love hearing about your day and all that went on.  I'm so proud of you,  you told me you had gotten angry but that instead of screaming you went and splashed in the stream and then took some breaths. You also told me you got sad thinking about Majnoon again, he's been on your mind a lot lately. You also told me you did get sad and angry about not getting the bow and arrow that you wanted but that you ran and splashed in the water instead… you really liked Justin who's one of the leaders and you told me he has lots of pets and that you want to meet them. You also said Britta (your usual leader) was perfect.  I've never heard you be able to talk about your day with such clarity before. You told me you tried really hard to not get angry and stuff today.  Honestly it was the best bedtime we've had in a long time,  you asked if we could have our heads together and just chat and then you wanted to tell jokes: "Why did the leaf and stick go away from the tree?" you asked me, I replied, "I don't know,  why? " and you answer with, "Because they wanted to go away" and then burst into a really loud laugh from your gut. The jokes continued in the same vein for a while! I am just so so happy you had an amazing day.  It took you awhile to fall asleep but you finally did after I massaged your hands, feet and back. You do so love a good massage.