Week 15 Year 4
It's that time again for ARTEFACT MOTHERHOOD - a project shared with other international female artists who are documenting our journeys as mothers and creating memories for our children through our photographs and words. Have a read through mine and then go check out the next amazing artist in our blog circle!
Life has been so busy and I've been preoccupied with photo sessions that I've missed three weeks of doing this project but decided to just continue where I left off at week 15.
I've been feeling slightly overwhelmed with trying to do all the things I want to do. It's not always easy being a creative person and a mother at the same time! I've noticed a slight shift in how you've been Nixie and I think you are finding it a bit hard when I need to go out, I know you really want to come with me when I have a session and I also hate the mama guilt I feel sometimes even though I do think it's super important for you to see me following my dreams and passions. But this weekend I don't have anything going on and it feels so good to be able to slow down and just be with you all.
I can't believe we are already in the month of October, how quickly this year is flying by. This morning I woke up around 6:00 and managed 15 minutes on the computer to try to get some work done before you, my sweet little Forrest woke up and climbed into my lap for some boob. It's now still dark when we wake up which takes a little bit of getting used to although I quite like it, it makes our mornings feel slower and cosier. You still have your morning routine of needing a nature valley bar in a bowl and an episode of the mighty express.
Muad'dib has become such a little snuggle bug and the two of you have become really close and it's the sweetest thing to see, you are so very gentle with him. But sometimes you can get a bit too affectionate with him and he gets annoyed and will hiss or bite you but never hard just enough to get you to stop but it breaks your heart and makes you super sad and I absolutely hate it when it happens.
Nixie you came down a couple of hours later around 8:00 and greeted me with the biggest hug. This past week you've been feeling super sensitive and there's been a lot of tension between you and forrest. Things that usually never phase you do and you guys are constantly fighting over who gets to play with what. Although there's still lots and lots of love between you too. You both have gotten really into playing with your dragons and I love watching your imaginations soar when the peace has been restored.
After daddy got up and we all ate breakfast and got dressed we headed out to have a little walk over by highcliffe castle. We were there for the first time with some friends yesterday and really loved it and we really wanted to share it with daddy. As soon as we were in the car you Nixie immediately started going through our crystal book, you are really into them again.
And you can't stop talking about which ones are your favourite. You are currently drawn to the jade because there's a photo of one that has been cut into the shape of a doughnut.
Two years on and you're still requesting veruca salt in the car, Forrest you aren't too happy about it but you do like them too just not all the songs but you still join in and sing in your own sweet way, you love singing and dancing to them and hearing your little voice ooohing and aaaahing just makes me so happy!
Once we arrived the first thing on our agenda was to take daddy to the beefsteak mushroom we found yesterday, Nixie you thought it was incredible and can’t get over how much it actually feels like meat! It’s my first time ever finding one and I am also super excited about our little find! Nature never stops amazing me.
Although it did take us a little while to get there because you & Forrest wanted to climb every tree and log on our way there. Forrest you were being so sweet at this one spot that had a half circle bench and at first you wanted to hold daddy's hand to walk around it but then with everytime around you got braver and braver and eventually wanted to do it completely on your own. I love this stage you are in! And Nixie you are getting more and more confident with your climbing and climbing up much higher and trying to climb things that are quite challenging. I love seeing you both push yourselves to new limits. I hope it’s something you will always do!
It did take a lot of convincing to get you, Forrest to move on but eventually I managed to entice you with seeing ducks. When we reached the little pond you had seen a feather floating in the water and you absolutely needed it and refused to move on until you had it so daddy found a bit of a reed and managed to get it for you and you were so happy! Nixie you were already on the other side of the pond waiting ever so patiently for us and had even found the most beautiful rose just floating in the water! Once we were all together again and you managed to get Forrest across another little bridge which he was refusing to cross for some reason you ran to the tree to see if the mushroom was still there and became so excited when it was so that daddy could see! I’m not sure he was as excited and taken away by it as we were though!
Now that we had shown daddy the mushroom we decided to head down to the beach. It is such a beautiful beach that even has sand dunes! I can’t believe we’ve lived here over 4 years and we had never been here! Smelling the sea air and hearing the sounds of the waves made me realise how much I’ve missed the sea! For some reason the whole month of September we’ve been in the forest instead but the energy of the sea was exactly what I needed today. I could feel myself relax so deeply while the two of you were playing in the sand that if I had been laying down I would have fallen asleep.
The two of you had so much fun building things in the sand and rolling down the dunes. You, Nixie and I had found a really interesting looking seaweed and it looked like some sort of carnivorous plant to me. We brought it up to daddy to show him and when you, Forrest, saw it, at first it scared you! I think you thought it was a scary monster but then we told you it was a plant and slowly slowly you let yourself touch it and then even let yourself hold it but then you carried it far away from us and left it in the sand. Today you really enjoyed throwing big stones at daddy and lots of sand at me! But as soon as you realised we didn’t like it you felt so bad and immediately gave us each a cuddle, you weren't doing it out of anger, you were super excited about the stones you found and the sand well that you thought was just funny! Just before we started to head back home we built a volcano out of sand and the two of you loved pretending it was erupting. By the time we made it back to the car you, Forrest, had added so many stones (verging on tiny boulders!) into my bag.
On our way home we stopped by the big Tesco in New Milton as I was trying to find an ingredient for one of our plate tectonic experiments but annoyingly I couldn’t find it. Forrest you refused to go in because instead you wanted to play on the toy car outside the shop so you and daddy stayed behind and me & Nixie went in. By the time we were finally on our way home you were so tired and you, Nixie began singing songs to him and it was the sweetest thing, you almost sang him to sleep.
When we got home we spent the rest of the afternoon doing our own creative projects. I had been wanting to finish having a go at making my baked mushrooms, daddy was busy carving a mushroom and you, Nixie wanted to play in your room and Forrest you wanted to play with your trains. After a while you, Nixie came down with your unicorn and dinosaur costumes and gave Forrest the dino one but he really wanted the unicorn and eventually you guys swapped.
We needed to head to WHSmith to get some paint so the three of us headed into town and you, Nixie needed to post a letter to one of your friends. The two of you were running around being really sweet together and holding hands the whole way back. We walked past a work site and Forrest you spotted a tractor and were completely enthralled! You also wanted to snuggle all the poles we walked by until we got home, it was very very cute of you! At the moment though you do not like holding my hand when we cross the street and this is something that I’m not letting go of but you get really upset and at one point just plopped yourself down on the other side of the road and layed there super upset with me.
We arrived home to daddy making dinner and I finished my mushroom craft and you Nixie finished your little craft you had been working on. It was an evening of continuously cleaning up spilled chocolate milk as Forrest, you kept running off with it and then spilling it everywhere. You are a bit obsessed with any carton of milk that we have at home at the moment!
After dinner the two of you had a bath while i managed to get a little bit done on the computer and then the three of us read a story together before you, nixie and daddy went into your room to read your book and once Forrest was asleep you and daddy came back into the family room where i massaged you to sleep while also falling asleep with you.
Go next to the wonderful artist Jo Haycock in our Artefact Motherhood Project to read her post in our blog circle.