week 19 Year 1
We did not have a good day. In fact, it was pretty awful. I wasn't feeling good, had been completely bed bound a couple days earlier with a vomiting bug and it still hadn't left my system completely. I felt emotional and pretty moody all day and Nixie wasn't in the best of places either. We did head over to Goodalls strawberry farm (our very first time of the season!) to pick some strawberries early in the morning, its one of my favourite local places & I had been looking forward to hanging out at their quirky little cafe. But even the fresh air didnt help, we just werent very insync with each other and seemed to keep rubbing each other the wrong way. I felt irritated & I felt so awful for it, it made me feel like such a crappy mum. It was a day with lots of upsets & I actually ended up having such a big cry in front of her, I couldn't hold it in, it just burst out of me when we got back home from the farm & in that moment she surprised me with her compassion & sense of wisdom, she just took my face in her hands and smiled with such love that it felt like somehow in that moment everything was restored and for a little while we were in the most beautiful love bubble, but the rest of the afternoon was still very up and down, all I really wanted to do was sleep, I even tried to but she was having none of it. One great thing about the day though was that because it was a bank holiday weekend, Kevin got to come home earlier so we decided to surprise him by meeting him at Brockenhurst station. Nixie loves the train so I thought it would be a fun outing and it was but there were also lots of upsets along the way. When we all got home we ate a quick dinner and got ready for bed. She was asleep by 18:30 and I was asleep right next to her by 18:50. Never had going to bed felt so good!
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